I swear my memory is getting worse and worse. It worries me because at some point I’m going to look back and there won’t be much to look back on.
My head goes to some really odd places when I’m asleep.
Back to the horrible dreams and crying myself to sleep. Excellent.
If those dreams I had as a twelve year old were to have come true I would be working on cruise ships next year, travelling the world sailing the seas enjoying life because that’s all I ever wanted. Instead I sit here now at 20 not enjoying life, not wanting to work on cruise ships, not knowing what I want to do ever and that’s really upsetting. I had dreams but now they don’t feel like they were ever mine.
So tired of everything being a blur, I sit and have conversations and then completely forget i have had them. I drift about everywhere doing stuff and then zone back in and have no memory of what i have just done. I’m just really tired of being me at the moment.
I wonder what we would have spoken about if I had accepted the request. Would we have had one last conversation?